The Most Horrific Family Photos You’ve Ever Seen
We’ve all seen bad family photos.
Sometimes the pets just won’t cooperate, or someone’s toupee is blowing away, or maybe the goth-angst teenager doesn’t want to smile.
These types of photos are funny, and will probably be laughed at by the family for years to come as a silly souvenir from the past.
But then there are those family photos that aren’t amusing… they’re just downright weird or creepy. It can be a sinister smile or the intimation of an inappropriate familiar relationship, but you’ll recognize them instantly as “off” somehow.
Here are a select few of the most horrifically bizarre family portraits.
A talking head, and his adoring family
“Kids, I will be watching your every move from the grave. You never have to be alone again. In fact, you don’t have a choice.” The fact that everyone is smiling, minus the father is a teensy bit alarming. I guess he always wanted to be remembered as the stern father, or pain-in-the-butt husband. He could’ve had a bad day at work, that happens a lot to Dads.
Couldn’t John have put a little more effort into his hair?
I mean, it barely looks like he teased his blonde locks at all. And why does he look so stiff and rigid? Guy needs to relax. Even the pets have better hair; combed and groomed, although they look extremely displeased and in search of the quickest way to escape.
Whatever this family was going for, it’s a shame Johnny couldn’t make it. And I hope he has since hung this photo on his wall to remind himself of what happens when he refuses family photo’s; pure brilliance.
It’s just us kids
Back in olden times, when people didn’t want to be in a photo but needed to serve as a prop to hold up children, they’d just throw a cloth over their heads. And presume that the picture’s audience wouldn’t notice.
Because there’s absolutely nothing creepy about that.
Baby Amelia looks like she is trying to uncover her whoever didn’t want to be pictured, by pulling the cloth. Middle sister Victoria, is doing her best to scoot away from the creepiness. And oldest brother, John, on the left, just looks straight spooked.
Please don’t leave us, Tom, Jim, whoever you are…
Please don’t leave us like our last daddy did, because no kid would grip their actual parents like so. Unless, of course the photographer was barking orders and exclaiming, “I have a vision.” Even the littlest one had immerse himself into wrapping himself around his father; only to get an elbow to his face. They are either trying to lock this boyfriend down, or far too grateful for their Dad. Give Mom some love too, kids.
“Meet our kids”
What’s more wholesome than a swarm of well-dressed monkeys? Well, there is the fact that every one of the furry creatures looks to be trying to escape. Except for, of course, the sassiest monkey of all time, front and center, striking a pose in her Sunday’s best pink and fluffy dress.
Also, don’t overalls seem like the most impractical thing ever made for humans, let alone monkeys, who will likely have to use the restroom pretty frequently. They can’t be potty trained.
How did they get all these monkeys? Is there such a thing as monkey farmers? Circus trainers, perhaps? And where do I sign up?
We hope these awkwardly delightful photo’s have inspired you to either find gratitude for your notthat bad family, or to just embrace whatever strange family dynamic is going on; because some other family is always one upping you!
I have to wonder if maybe these family photos are really intimate looks into the private lives of these people, or if they have nothing to do at all with these kids, moms, and dads. Do these kids even like monkeys at all? Do they live with monkeys every day? Do they have monkeys instead of dogs and cats? Or did they just rent monkeys for this photo because they thought it would be a memorable and funny joke? Maybe the photo studio has monkeys and lions and bears, Oh My, at the ready every day? Or maybe it’s a monkey circus combination traveling photographer? You have to wonder if these photos are totally random or if their lives actually revolve around the things that are in those photos.