Finding love is one of the most beautiful things that happen. Finding the perfect partner might be a challenge but once you’ve found him/her, going forward in the right direction, having a healthy path is important & necessary. You might judge the book by its cover but you need to read to know it’s story!
There are a few things you might want to change in yourself & a few things you expect your partner to adjust. A few changes can bring about great difference & can help renew your love again.
There are some things you might want to keep in mind:
- ‘Label-less’
Try to be open & less clingy. When you start a new relationship, try not to be very rigid with labeling the new “relationship”. ‘Boyfriend’, ‘girlfriend’ or ‘casual fling’; it’s not necessary to label it. Have fun & enjoy your sweet time while you have. Going slow doesn’t always mean deteriorating; sometimes it just means you are having a slow & steady climb. Besides, it's less pressurizing when you don’t have the deadline to finalize your positions. Feel secure in your status & let things go the way as they are.
- Move slow
There is no hurry to finish targets. Move slow when it comes to experimenting & trying new things; be it in your sexual life or otherwise. Giving out too much at once very early spoils the slow unveiling & discovery of things in your path over time. Move slow & while you have time, try to work on other things.
- TALK
Talk & listen. Try to know the other person. Talk about your feelings, share your experiences & thoughts. This way you get to know the person better, if you match with them or no, if you share the same ideologies or if you can discover new things with them.
- Don’t force!!
Try to befriend the person & know them in & out. Don’t try to force things on them. Meeting your parents/friends might be a big step & a bit pressurizing. Don’t force them.
Rather, don’t force them for anything. If your ways don’t match, wait & try to understand their way. It may be more fun plus you might end up learning something new. A little “give & take” is always good.
- Stay honest
Don’t pretend in the relationship. When you get together with a new person you may try to impress them with false praises, lies, gifts etc. this might work for a little while, but not for the long run. Stay true & honest with them & build a solid base for the future of your relationship. Don’t try to please them in any way. This way, you don’t give them a false picture of you nor do you compromise on being the real “you”.
- No barometer/checklist/scoreboard
Don’t hold records & don’t compare. It would be too early to draw conclusions. Try to get along & be sportive to try their things. Don’t be a spoilsport right from the start or resilient to things. Loosen up a bit & enjoy!
- Taking liberties/privileges too early
Being bossy or taking liberties might create a little bad mood. In a new relationship, you don’t want to scare them off right at the start. Taking liberties, deciding things for them, making choices might be OK for one or two times but after that might get offended. You don’t know them fully yet, so slow down & try not to poke your nose too much!
- Don’t force yourself on them
Meeting their friends or trying to sneak around & find out about them, their past – NO! If you come down on them so hard it will make them run away. Don’t let your image build up like that of a stalker. Loosen your hold on them. The moment they feel you are not trying to grab them but want to be with them truly, they will reciprocate your feeling. It will take some time, but try to gain their trust, for it’s the most important part!
- Try to know more rather than acting like you already know them
It often happens so that you try to show that you know about a person way more than what you actually know. This might happen out of insecurity or your fears, but this is a person repellent for sure. When you do this & the other person sniffs it out, they know you are faking it.
- Remember ‘You’
Remember ‘you’, your schedule, your friends, your family… New in love we often forget the world & the people that we care about. You are always around your partner & love the feeling of butterflies. Try to divide your time efficiently & try to accommodate everyone in it. All of them are equally important to you as that one person.
Sometimes, somethings come up because you are afraid to lose the other person, but it’s a chance you got to take to know if they are the one. If they will stick around for all the right reasons & not materialistic images. Your insecurities will be addressed once you move a little forward. They might reciprocate your love in the way you expect right now but they surely will as your progress a little further. Try to make them feel comfortable, try to make them have trust in you. Most of the times, what people portray isn’t what they really are. Once they are really into you, you will get to meet a whole new person who will love you the way you are, the way you want. Try to take things slow, this will give you a chance to analyze them too; whether they are going to flaunt you like trophies or they have really fallen for you. Try not get jealous at their every move. Also if it is really uncomfortable, learn to speak up. It is your responsibility to make them feel secure as well; the way you want to feel.
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