In life, we’re told to be a certain way, act a certain way – that things are one certain way. But, sometimes, we need to be reminded of reality, to have our feet planted back on the ground and realize that it’s not them, it’s us, they’re not wrong, we are, life sucks, deal with it. And, we call these pieces of advice “tough love.” In life, everyone needs it every once in a while.
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But here’s the thing: self-awareness is one of the most important things you can possibly have. So even though it sucks to admit that no, you’re not faultless, you owe it to yourself to figure out how to accept just that.
2. Relationships are almost never as complicated as you think they are. Maybe it’s the movies we grow up watching or our affinity for overthinking things, but everyone seems to instinctually overthink relationships. Sure, sometimes things are messy. But the impulse to instantly make this whole “being with someone” thing just so complicated, so difficult, so hard? It’s 100% hurting you and your relationships more in the long run when you overcomplicate them.
4. No one thinks what you’re complaining about is as interesting as you do. Everyone needs to vent, and everyone should be allowed to. But if everything coming out of your mouth is drenched in negativity and all “woe is me”? Just know that people are definitely not as big of a fan of you as they pretend to be while you’re unloading.
5. If you can’t afford brunch, stop pretending you can. The weird thing about the whole “Keeping up with the Jones’s” mentality is that the “Jones’s” probably didn’t care at all what anyone else was doing. Look. Money is weird, and most people (except for those with more than they know what to do with) feel strange about it from time to time. But feeling insecure and overspending is not just weird or even silly—it’s downright stupid.
6. Your metabolism doesn’t care that you don’t “feel that old.” It will slow down and it will make fitting into your favorite clothes suck a whole lot if you don’t stay on top of your health.
7. Even your “dream job” is still a job. And there will be days when you just want to scream at everyone and leave in a blaze of glory, days where you’re bored out of your skull, and just days where you have an internal meltdown wondering, “What the hell am I doing with my life??” Even if you love what you do. Even if you’re happy most of the time. Even if it’s your “dream” job. It still works, it’s still a job, and you need to stick it out and not let the bad days be the days that stick out the most.
8. Honesty may be difficult, but it really is the best policy. Lies, even little well-intentioned ones, will never end up where you hope they will. Never.
9. Nine times out of ten when you’re arguing, the person you’re trying to convince is actually yourself. Truth is, you’re almost never going to change someone’s mind when they’ve made it up about something. So if you’re still fighting about it, still arguing, still stomping your feet (metaphorically or literally)? The person you’re actually trying to convince is you. And you’re likely the only one listening.
10. Scientifically speaking, making or breaking a habit takes 21 days. So if you’re trying to start working out, suck it up. If you’re trying to quit eating something, suck it up. If you want to make any change? You can probably suck it up.
11. If someone wanted to be with you, they would be. While it’s one of the hardest things in life to come to terms with, again, it’s not actually that complicated. It’s really, really not.
12. Absolutely everyone, including you, is replaceable. You’re probably absolutely fantastic, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t still just 1 person out of 7 billion on this planet. People can live without you, love without you, work without you, exist without you. And they will. You need to learn how to live with a healthy blend of humility and the understanding of your own insignificance, while also having the confidence and willpower to live anyway.
13. If you’re not doing anything to solve problems that come up, the main problem in the equation is you. You shouldn’t be finding yourself with the same problems whizzing around you over, and over, and over again. What that actually means if you want to complain about your problems, but you aren’t actually interested in solving them. Take responsibility, take initiative. Don’t be the person wandering in circles wondering why the same stuff keeps happening. Do something about it.
14. Ultimately you need to accept that the only person in charge of your life is you. The person who can solve your problems? You. The person who steers the ship? Yep, you. The only person who can ultimately take charge of your life is you. You can’t wait for anyone else to do it. It has to be y-o-u, you.
2. Relationships are almost never as complicated as you think they are. Maybe it’s the movies we grow up watching or our affinity for overthinking things, but everyone seems to instinctually overthink relationships. Sure, sometimes things are messy. But the impulse to instantly make this whole “being with someone” thing just so complicated, so difficult, so hard? It’s 100% hurting you and your relationships more in the long run when you overcomplicate them.
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3. A truly good friend is not the one who tells you what you want to hear. Good friends don’t sugarcoat things. They don’t tell you what they know you’re already hoping they’ll say. They tell you the truth. There is a difference between just listening, and actually being there for someone. Someone who’s there just giving half-assed advice or not actually having your best interest in mind? That’s not a good friend or one that will actually stand the test of time.
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4. No one thinks what you’re complaining about is as interesting as you do. Everyone needs to vent, and everyone should be allowed to. But if everything coming out of your mouth is drenched in negativity and all “woe is me”? Just know that people are definitely not as big of a fan of you as they pretend to be while you’re unloading.
Pinterest
Pinterest
6. Your metabolism doesn’t care that you don’t “feel that old.” It will slow down and it will make fitting into your favorite clothes suck a whole lot if you don’t stay on top of your health.
Pinterest
7. Even your “dream job” is still a job. And there will be days when you just want to scream at everyone and leave in a blaze of glory, days where you’re bored out of your skull, and just days where you have an internal meltdown wondering, “What the hell am I doing with my life??” Even if you love what you do. Even if you’re happy most of the time. Even if it’s your “dream” job. It still works, it’s still a job, and you need to stick it out and not let the bad days be the days that stick out the most.
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8. Honesty may be difficult, but it really is the best policy. Lies, even little well-intentioned ones, will never end up where you hope they will. Never.
Pinterest
9. Nine times out of ten when you’re arguing, the person you’re trying to convince is actually yourself. Truth is, you’re almost never going to change someone’s mind when they’ve made it up about something. So if you’re still fighting about it, still arguing, still stomping your feet (metaphorically or literally)? The person you’re actually trying to convince is you. And you’re likely the only one listening.
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10. Scientifically speaking, making or breaking a habit takes 21 days. So if you’re trying to start working out, suck it up. If you’re trying to quit eating something, suck it up. If you want to make any change? You can probably suck it up.
Pinterest
11. If someone wanted to be with you, they would be. While it’s one of the hardest things in life to come to terms with, again, it’s not actually that complicated. It’s really, really not.
Pinterest
12. Absolutely everyone, including you, is replaceable. You’re probably absolutely fantastic, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t still just 1 person out of 7 billion on this planet. People can live without you, love without you, work without you, exist without you. And they will. You need to learn how to live with a healthy blend of humility and the understanding of your own insignificance, while also having the confidence and willpower to live anyway.
Pinterest
13. If you’re not doing anything to solve problems that come up, the main problem in the equation is you. You shouldn’t be finding yourself with the same problems whizzing around you over, and over, and over again. What that actually means if you want to complain about your problems, but you aren’t actually interested in solving them. Take responsibility, take initiative. Don’t be the person wandering in circles wondering why the same stuff keeps happening. Do something about it.
Pinterest
14. Ultimately you need to accept that the only person in charge of your life is you. The person who can solve your problems? You. The person who steers the ship? Yep, you. The only person who can ultimately take charge of your life is you. You can’t wait for anyone else to do it. It has to be y-o-u, you.
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15 Pieces of Tough Love Everyone Needs To Hear In Their Life
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1. Bad habits aren’t cute as you get older.
Smoking, blacking out, picking at scabs, biting your nails – the older you get, the worse they look. It’s better to cut them out when you’re young, rather than being the adult with bad habits.
2. It’s not always them, sometimes it’s you.
Every breakup you have will not be their fault. Sometimes, you make mistakes and f*ck up in relationships, too. Own it and learn from it.
3. Every job is still going to be a job.
You may not like your job right now, but even your “dream job” is still going to be a lot of hard work and labor. No matter where you work, you’ll have to work.
4. You don’t need someone else to be with “forever.”
Just because society says you have to get married and have kids, that doesn’t mean you have to. Not everything everyone else does will fit into what you want or need from life.
5. Lying will always come back to bite you in the ass – just be honest.
Telling the truth in certain situations may seem hard, but lying will always come full circle. You should go through the hurdles of honesty rather than running around in lies for the rest of your life.
6. Not everyone is going to like you.
You’re going to have people that dislike you. No matter who they are or what it’s about – just deal with it. You can’t make everyone love you and you’re wasting your time trying to.
7. Your health will not always be there, take care of your body before it’s too late.
Everyone jokes about “not going to the gym” and “eating like sh*t,” but, it’s not a joke when you start aging. Eventually, your body is going to have enough of the abuse and it’ll start to deteriorate and weaken.
8. Everyone gossips about everyone, people always have sh*t to say.
Everyone is going to talk sh*t about each other – no matter what. The less of a big deal you make it out to be, the less it really matters. Who cares what everyone else says anyway?
9. You’re not always the victim.
In arguments with friends, family, and partners – you are not always the victim. In fact, sometimes, you’re the one who is wrong. Open your eyes and listen to see where you need to make changes.
10. Nothing lasts forever – no matter how hard you try.
Things end, people change. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever and sometimes – it really f*cking hurts.
11. Constantly complaining makes you annoying to be around.
No one wants to surround themselves with a negative person all of the time. Write in a journal, start a blog, do meditation if you need time to decompress and unwind with life’s stresses. Your friends and partner are not your soundboard 24/7 and you cannot always dump your sh*t onto them.
12. People can change – but only if they want to change.
In relationships, people always tell you “people don’t change,” but, if someone really wants to change, they can and they will. If someone makes excuses, it’s because they don’t think they’re wrong and they don’t care. Pick up and move on.
13. School is actually important if you try.
School always matters in the long run, if you try and actually pay attention. While the subjects may not always be vital, the conversations and discussions you have with teachers, professors, and peers can shape you and mold you into a better person.
14. No one really knows what the f*ck they’re doing.
Even the most confident person questions their life every once in a while. No one really has everything figured out in life, stop worrying that you’re the only one who doesn’t.
15. Pay attention to your needs, stop trying to please everyone else.
If you feel your body is hurting, see a doctor. If you are feeling depressed, see a therapist. If you’re running low on money, stay home instead of partying. Pay attention to your needs before anything else.
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